This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
