Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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