anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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