just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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