I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
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