What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
