You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I showed him my bush... on skype.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
