I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
