We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Randomize