i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
