ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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