No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Randomize
