I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Never joke about your clitoris.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
