There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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