And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Randomize
