If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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