Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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