love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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