operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
