How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
