yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Randomize
