i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
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