The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
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