I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
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