Got a toothbrush?
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
