trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
did i walk over a car last night?
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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