he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
