I swear she didn't look like that last week.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
So vagazzling was a success
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
