the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
