Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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