$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
