you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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