a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
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