My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize