like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
