I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
