my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I lost the right to judge tonight
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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