They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
