Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
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