I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
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