I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
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