WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
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