do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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