So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Randomize
