Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Randomize
