Only a mothe r could love this liver
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
