How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
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