I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Randomize
