why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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