in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Randomize
