He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Randomize
