I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
