Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
