I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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