I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
