Umm I'm too high to move.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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