I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
