yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
