So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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