I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
