Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Ladies don't puke and tell
Floor bacon is actually really good
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
