im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
