just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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