im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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