He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
