pedialite and red bull = repair kit
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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