take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
