Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
