I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
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