Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Randomize